I relish this pain
I wish every waking moments will be as painful as it is today.
This pain connects me to you,
Connecting me to that part of myself which has been wrenched away by you.
As your beloved red silk cotton tree burst forth into scarlet tears of springbirds of every hue come to roost.
I feel a loss so abject.
Miserable- on every nook and corner- your scent, your sight, your smile
I crave trying to touch a tangible part of those memories.
Yet all I get is a tapestry of lies,
each of them trying to blemish this dark deep madness of mine
I crawl alone in the cold winter of my loneliness while warm spring burst forth outside.